Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
