that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
