Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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