Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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