just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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