kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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