Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
