He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
