You just made me feel so damn special
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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