you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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