Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
