There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
