Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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