Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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