Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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