yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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