You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
