toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
