my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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