If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
