And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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