I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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