everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
