i just wanna soil my oats bro
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We named our party play list daddy issues
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
