Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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