physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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