im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
