I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
