i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
