how can u be prego again
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Someone signed my nipple.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
