He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
