friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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