You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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