She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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