my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
