So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you inspire me to be a worse person
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
