Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
did i walk over a car last night?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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