Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
