Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
