I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
