You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
