Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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