Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
