he puts the penis in happiness.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
