If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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