And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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