I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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