Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
