I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So squirting runs in the family.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
