You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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