All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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