she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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